When we found out that we were expecting our second child, I couldn’t wait to start molding Goose into an awesome older sibling. This post will focus on how to prepare your toddler before the new baby is born. I’ll follow up with a post all about the first meeting between your kids and one more about fostering a positive relationship once the baby has arrived. These are ideas from my experience that I strongly believe contributed to how easy the transition from one to two kids was for my family.
Break the News
Goose was 15 months when we found out that I was pregnant. At that age, she had zero understanding of what it meant to “have a baby” or “be a big sister”, but we started telling her anyway. I also know several people who wait until their toddler notices a baby bump to say anything about their pregnancy and that totally works, too. The main point is to give the kid ample “warning” before a new, tiny person enters their home and completely changes their life.
The sooner you introduce a new concept to a child and the more they hear it, the sooner they’ll grasp it. You can apply this to learning the alphabet, identifying colors, or counting to ten. It’s simple practice and repetition. You don’t have to wait until you think your child is ready. Just start exposing them to a topic and they’ll catch on eventually.
Big Sister Books
One way that Goose has always liked to learn is through books. They provide a visual for concepts that small kids can’t yet conceive of. The books we chose presented different aspects of a mom’s pregnancy, baby being brought home, and interactions of a new baby with an older sister. Here are some of our favorite big sister books:
Best Ever Big Sister
Waiting for Baby
Start including books in your storytime rotation so your toddler is regularly hearing and seeing ways to be a great big sis.
Dust Off the Baby Gear Early
A huge way to prepare your toddler is to start cleaning and putting out baby’s belongings at least a month before your due date. This is especially important if your kids will be sharing a room. Toddlers are territorial and egocentric and may not easily welcome new people and objects into their space.
You want to make sure that your toddler has plenty of time to get used to all of the baby gear. This is also an opportunity to teach how each item should safely or properly be used (don’t climb on the crib, be gentle with the bouncer).
We were fortunate to have almost everything left from when Goose was a baby: crib, car seat, stroller, high chair, bouncer, playmat, toys, and plenty of clothes. We literally only needed diapers and wipes for Belly. Slowly, we started taking out one item at a time so that Goose could familiarize herself with it. I even explained that they were all things she used as a baby, but didn’t need anymore because she was a big girl.
No Other Major Changes
It’s recommended that if you’re going to be making any additional alterations to your toddler’s environment or routine, try to do them well before or after the baby is born. Moving, potty training, sleep training. You don’t want your toddler to be overwhelmed by too many changes, but it’ll also be easier for you.
Young children are extremely resilient, but they also have difficulty processing complicated ideas and communicating how they feel. By making the transition to the baby very gradual, our toddler had plenty of time to get acclimated to becoming a big sister. As baby’s due date approached, we felt confident that our firstborn was eager and prepared to welcome our new family member.
What are you doing to prepare your toddler to be an older sibling? Tell me in the comments!
See how we introduced our toddler and baby to each other and get tips for promoting a positive relationship between your kids!
Talk to you soon!
I love that you included children’s books with this! Reading is a great way for kids to learn how to process new life events and transitions.
Thank you, Emily! I truly believe that. Even though they’re still very young, books have been a key ingredient in teaching both of my kids life skills!
I have an 8 year gap between my children but these ideas are still so applicable to our situation.
Hi Angelina! That’s great to know! If we have another baby when my girls are older, I’ll still be able to prepare them with these same tools.
Love it all! You’re dead on with all of it!
In our family, our daughter came when our son was 15 months old so it was kind of difficult introducing him to the idea starting at 8-10ish months when I started showing and there was any chance he could understand anything about being a big brother. Luckily everything went surprisingly well and now they’re both running around after each other.
Thanks, Paula! I’m sure you were nervous before she was born, but isn’t it great watching them together now? Having a sibling is the best!
I love this article so much. Hubby and I are thinking of baby #2 a lot lately. I’ve been worrying about making our 2 year old understand having a sibling and being a big brother. Great pointers! Bookmarking this article 🙂
Thank you so much, Rianna! As long as you give your son time to absorb the idea (and frame it with lots of positivity), he should do great!
Those are all great tips that I will be tucking away for the future! My closest friends always said the no other major changes was so important. They always put off bed transitions or potty training until after the baby came if they didnt do it far enought in advance before the new arrival. I love the idea of books!
Hi Chelsae! Your friends are totally right. Toddlers can become overwhelmed and it’s much easier for everyone not to change too much of their life at once!
This is so enjoyable! We just had baby number 4, and our 2 year old who is non verbal has been having a hard time adjusting. I have actually used these books myself!
Thank you, Kayla! That’s understandable. Preparing for a new baby can be really tough. I’m so glad you found these books helpful, too!
I have 8 kids and I would say books and talks of how much of their help you will need is the best way to help prepare them. Your book suggestions are awesome. Waiting for baby is One I used myself. Pretty sure it’s still sitting on the book shelf. 🙂
You’re my hero, Danielle! I’m sure you’ve acquired lots of wisdom about getting everyone adjusted to new family members!
These are some great tips!
Hi Teresa! Thank you!
My second oldest was not happy with her new baby brother lol but he was overjoyed with his new baby sister! It amazes me how kids can tell when a new baby is coming and how they express their feelings. These are great ways to help put EVERYONE at ease!
Hey Brigette! I definitely think the hardest part is you just never know how kids are going to react once they meet the new baby. Hopefully, all of your kiddos get along great now!
I atually just had my 2nd but my 1st is 11! Although he is older the prepping is real! He would say he didn’t want to be forgotten. The baby is here now and my oldest has been an AMAZING big brother. We put the babys chair in his room so he can feel like the baby wants to “hang” with him, we let him feed him and watch morning cartoons. We let him read to the baby and we always involve both of them. Even if it’s just a simple movie night 🙂
Hi Cindy! I’m sure it’s a little different with an older child. They understand what it means for a baby to be born, but they’ve spent so much time with life the way it is that it’s hard to imagine anything else. It’s so precious that they spend time together!
Beautiful !!!I was nervous to announce my first one that there is going to be a brother or sister with her soon. Books and videos helped me to make her understanding.
Hi Aadya! Yes, a few of our favorite toddler shows address having a new baby so those were also helpful!
We talk about it…a LOT! He helps me get her stuff ready, we look at her new clothes together, and I try to keep him involved as much as possible (he will be 3 when she’s born). I think it also really helps that a couple of his friends have new baby sisters and we see them a lot. He is smitten with those babies so I hope seeing them all together will help him transition! We took all of our ‘big steps’ so far (bed, potty training, etc) we just need to try and ditch the paci. Wish me luck there haha.
Hi Ayana! Sounds like your little guy is ready to be a big brother! Best of luck to you!