Last week, I shared my tips for preparing a toddler for a new baby. It was all about getting your firstborn mentally ready for your new family member well in advance. Now, imagine that your baby has arrived and it’s time to introduce your toddler to their younger sibling. The first meeting between your toddler and the new baby is significant because it will set the tone for their relationship. I’m not saying you’re doomed if they get off to a rocky start, but it is discouraging (and heartbreaking) if it doesn’t go well.
Set the Stage
You want the first meeting to be calm and free of distractions. Try to make sure that no one is present aside from your nuclear family and maybe invite a quiet photographer (like grandma) to capture the memories.
Your child has probably never seen a brand new baby so be ready to answer questions and explain the baby’s behavior. Some toddlers will wonder aloud what every movement and sound mean and others will quietly observe.
Meeting at Home
It would be ideal to have their first meeting at home because toddlers like to be in their normal, comfortable environment. If you’re home, you don’t have to worry as much about them becoming too overwhelmed because everything around them is familiar. The only thing different would be the baby.
We originally were going to bring Goose to the hospital for our kids’ first meeting because we weren’t sure how long we’d be there. I ended up being discharged way sooner than expected so we decided to let the girls meet when we got home. I was so grateful that it worked out this way!
My mom was already at our house watching Goose so she stayed and took pictures. We set our phones aside and no one else was there to interrupt the special moment. Goose was ecstatic to see and hold Belly and all of us were very relaxed and happy. It could not have been more perfect!
If the timing works for you, I definitely recommend postponing the first meeting until you’re home.
Meeting at the Hospital
Of course, there are circumstances when you’re not able to go home right away. If you have your toddler visit you at the hospital, just make sure they know what to anticipate. Not only might it be distracting to see nurses and doctors coming and going, but it can be uncomfortable for a young child to see their mom in a medical setting. Set some expectations for your toddler before they arrive, especially if they’ve never been to a hospital, so they’re not in total shock.
When your toddler enters the room, try not to have the baby in your arms yet. This way you can give your toddler hugs and a moment of undivided attention after being apart. Once your toddler seems acclimated, bring the baby over and introduce them to each other.
Low Pressure
If your toddler initially has no interest in the baby, don’t force it. Typically with toddlers, the more you insist, the more they resist. Keep talking about how excited the baby is to have an awesome older sibling and give your toddler time to absorb this huge change.
I’ve also known people who have a gift “from the baby” for the older sibling, like a puzzle or book. I did not do this with my kids, but it could be a sweet gesture if you think your toddler needs a little more coaxing.
The main goal is to make their first meeting positive and celebratory. It may only be a few minutes, but the impressions are lasting.
What else have you done to make sure the first meeting between your kids went smoothly?
Once you’ve brought baby home, see some great ways to foster a positive sibling relationship and grow a healthy bond between your kids!
Here are some fun ways to play with baby throughout the first year and see how to get Dad involved in baby’s life!
Talk to you soon!
Some great tips for parents here! I really didn’t put much thought inti my daughters meeting for the first time but you brought up somecreally good points here 💗
Thank you, Teresa! I think that I tend to overprepare, but you just never know how your kids will react to new things.
Such an important topic! I love these tips for a smooth transition. Sometimes we forget to think what’s going on in the mind of the little one who has been here all along and now has a new baby stepping into what they think is their territory.
Hi Sarah! I’m so glad you agree! Life is already confusing enough for our little ones and we owe it to them to help them adjust to a new baby.
What a great post! I am going to pin this too, for the future. This is one thing I am already stressed about and I am not even pregnant yet.
Thank you so much, Echo! Don’t be stressed! Lol. But definitely keep in mind what you can do to help your toddler when the time comes!
Great tips!!! This will be very helpful when we are ready for a second baby! 🙂
Thanks, Rianna! I can assure you it’ll make difference for everyone’s peace of mind!
This is truly great advice. I didn’t put as much thought into it when I had my second, because my son was only 16 months old. I should have realized though that seeing me in the hospital was going to upset him.
Thank you, Samantha! There’s so much going on when you’re pregnant that it’s easy to overlook the first meeting of siblings. Hopefully, your kids are getting along great now!
Great article! Thanks for sharing. Any pointers if you are moving around the time new baby is born? Our new house is going to be ready the beginning of May and baby is due the 20th! Eek! Want both transitions to be smooth!
Thank you, Heather! That’s a lot of change all at once so start by trying your best to breathe and relax through it all! I have a post about moving that might help: https://thecinnamonmom.com/cross-country-move/
Logistically, everything will work itself out. The most important things will be having a positive attitude throughout the transitions and communicating clearly and regularly with your little one. Be ready with lots of extra love and snuggles!
Great tips! I especially like the idea of settthe tone and having someone quiet there to help take photos.
Hey Brittany! Yes! I am so grateful that we have a few pictures from their first meeting.
You pretty much described how we did it. I had done my research before and you included everything I remember and what I learned along the way too.
I wanted it to be at the hospital but baby ended up in NICU for non serious reasons and my 15 month old came to visit me with my parents and barely wanted to touch me. When we came home my mother in law was with our oldest and I had daddy hold the baby so he wouldn’t feel jealous of mommy, it was beautiful! He pet her so gently and their relationship from there was full of love and kindness. Now they’re loving/fighting toddlers who want to be together 24/7!
Hi Paula! That sounds so sweet! I’m so happy that everything worked out so perfectly for your family!