I think it’s pretty safe to say that I am suffering from mom insomnia, also known as “momsomnia”.
For those of you who actually wake up rested in the morning, momsomnia is sleep deprivation at night due to mommy-related reasons (my definition, not clinical). Those reasons include, but are not limited to, inability to sleep because
- your kids are awake
- you’re worried that your kids will wake up
- you’re thinking about your kids
- you’re thinking about everything you did not accomplish all day because you were taking care of your kids
- you want to stay awake because this is the only time your personal space is not being invaded by kids
I was under the very false impression that momsomnia only affected very pregnant women or parents with newborns and I incorrectly assumed I would be sleeping by the time my kids were 3 and 18 months…
But alas.
Here I am in the middle of the night. Wide awake while my entire family is tucked peacefully in their beds. Replaying every single event from the day and anticipating all of the obstacles I’ll encounter tomorrow.
Regardless of why you can’t sleep, we all know that rest is important for mamas. The more tired we are, the worse we function during the day. And the less successful our day is, the more we stress out at night. The cruel cycle just perpetuates itself into eternity and you’re never rested and never productive and turn into a tired, cranky grouch and you hear the kids asking every five minutes, “Mommy, why are you mad?”
I’ve been trying a few different strategies and tricks to help me relax at night so that I can be a happier mommy throughout the day. I’m afraid that I can’t help you if your kids won’t sleep. But in the unlikely event that your children decide to stay in bed for more than three hours and you actually have the opportunity to close your eyes… Here are 13 ways to conquer your momsomnia and get some sleep:
1. Get Comfortable
2. No Sugar Before Bed
Have your treats early in the day so your body isn’t trying to balance itself out late at night.
3. Get Moving
The more you exercise or move around during the day, the more tired your body will feel at night.
4. Don’t Clean
Resist the urge to clean all the things at night. Cleaning has a domino effect and once you start, you’ll want to keep going. I’m not saying let your home get out of control, but some nights, you just have to accept a little mess.
5. Disconnect
Pick a time and stop engaging in texts or emails. Send the message to your friends and family that your rest is valuable by wishing them a goodnight and picking up your conversation in the morning.
6. Soothing Music or TV
Find something that leaves you feeling happy and peaceful, but not overly excited. Probably not a good time to catch up on Game of Thrones.
7. Take a Hot Bath
Grab your lavender scented bubble bath and literally wash the day off of your body.
8. Massage
This is my personal fave! Nothing does the trick like a good foot massage after a long day. Ask your partner to pretty please help you with this one.
9. Yoga or Meditation
Say it with me: “Ommmm…”
10. Write it Down
Whatever you’re stressing about, make a note or a list or write it in your journal or whatever and go back to it another day.
11. Set a Sleep Alarm
Your kids have a bedtime, right? Use a special ringtone to tell your body when it’s time to stop functioning and lay the heck down.
12. Check on Your Kids
There is nothing more heartwarming than seeing your children sleeping soundly. Once you know they’re okay and their little bodies are recharging, you can get yourself some sleep, too.
Do not do this, however, if you have a light sleeper! That’s just asking for trouble.
13. Create a Routine
Every night, we give our kids a bath, brush their teeth, read books with them, and then tuck them in. A predictable bedtime routine sends a very clear signal to your brain that it’s time to sleep. Choose your own grown-up routine and stick to it!
If all else fails, remind yourself that momsomnia is temporary. Someday, many, many years from now, you will sleep and this will all be a distant memory. But in the meantime, try to enjoy your little people and do your best to be grateful that you have a reason not to sleep.
What do you do when you can’t sleep? Tell me in the comments!
See how I set the tone for a great day with my kids and learn these tricks to stay calm even when your kids are acting like lunatics.
Great ! There is a name for it haha , so needed to read this ! 👌🏻👌🏻
Hey Angelique! Yes, I haven’t yet met a mom who wasn’t exhausted!
I’m not so sure if it really goes away….my kids are teens and it’s just as bad now as when they were younger. You have some good advice. Maybe something will work for me. Maybe….lol
Hi Danielle! So what you’re saying is… I should just accept that I’ll never sleep again in my life? Aw man. Haha!
Disconnecting definitely helps me sleep better. I am so bad about staying up a little later to try to get some work done but it wreaks havoc on my sleep. I’m doing better with disconnecting now.
Hi April! Disconnecting is hard for me, too. It’s always so tempting to spend more time on social media!
I have three boys 10mos, 4, 6 years old. I never sleep! Because I’m always checking on my baby and 4 year old. Along with my blog. This was helpful advice! Thank you
Thanks, Yanna! I can totally relate. I hope you find some rest soon!
This is so me, ever since becoming a mumma I find it a little harder to relax, especially thinking about if I feel asleep before my daughter as i’m so knackered. I even woken up thinking i left her at school in the middle of the night before. The idea of a hot bath is a good one to help relax me though.
It always makes me wonder if every generation was sleep-deprived like this. No one warned me I’d be so tired!
All of these are awesome tips for calming down at night and being able to sleep. I definitely suffer from momsomnia sometimes – disconnecting and not worrying about cleaning the house help me a lot!
Hi Megan! I think those were the two things I had the biggest trouble with, too. It can be really hard to turn your brain off!
Unfortunately, this is my situation. When everyone is asleep is my me time. Sometimes, I am too tired to sleep. I will follow your tips.
Hey Marjie! I can totally relate to being too tired to sleep!
OMG the momsomnia is real! Last night, for example, I didn’t go to bed until after midnight because I have a sick kiddo and by the time I finally got him settled and everything done, I wanted some time to myself to read and relax. Then I was up at 430am today because the sick kiddo woke up. Got him resettled and couldn’t get back to sleep. I don’t mind being up early, but would enjoy it much more if I could get to sleep at a reasonable time!
Oh no, Lisa! That sounds so rough. I hope your little one feels better soon! It’s so hard to take care of sick kids when you’re exhausted.
I love all your ideas listed here. I enjoyed almost all the ways you mentioned here specially when I’m disconnecting to internet at night.
Thank you, Mary! Disconnecting is so hard, but I think that it helps so much when you’re trying to get some sleep!