We just made a cross-country move from California to South Carolina and so far we are enjoying our beautiful new town. Everything is going really smoothly, but one hard part of being in a new place is making mom friends.

One thing I’ve learned in my 3.5 years as a parent is that a tribe is essential to your life, especially as a stay-at-home mom. It absolutely takes a village and the only way that I’ve been able to survive is with the help of my mommy friends. Having empathetic women to talk to, ask for advice, vent to, and pass the hours with makes a world of difference when you’re otherwise stuck at home all day with helpless, demanding tiny humans.

And not only do moms need friends, but children need to interact with other children their age. A community of mom friends is a way to ensure that everyone has plenty of opportunities to socialize with their peers.

I deeply miss my friends in California and there is no possible way to replace them or the memories we have, but I’ve started building my SC tribe and growing a new support system here.

Whether you’re a brand new mommy or a veteran mom in search of a new circle, here are a few ways you can go about making mom friends:

Find the Moms

I used to take my kids to the park praying that some mom would see the desperation in my tired eyes and reach out to me sympathetically. You might get lucky, but the likelihood of that happening is very small.  Parks are unpredictable and attract a wide range of ages (and behaviors) at completely random times of the day.

You’ll have the most luck finding longterm mom friends in structured, age-specific settings. Organized activities are best because they take a lot of the guessing out of the equation. You know exactly what time to find other families, have a solid idea what ages the other kids will be, and can assume that moms want to socialize because they’ve chosen to be there.

Moms groups, gym classes, and libraries are my top 3 places to try first.

Moms Groups

My first recommendation is to see if there’s a MOMS Club in your town. It was seriously the best thing for me and the girls when we lived in California. Each chapter operates a little differently, but most have a full monthly calendar with play dates and events almost daily.

If you don’t have MOMS Club where you live, you can always search for “mommy groups” on Facebook and Meetup. Ask them when you can preview an event to make sure the group offers the type of support and activities you’re looking for.

Mommy and Me Classes

I started baby gym classes when both of my girls were 4-months-old and met some of my closest mom friends there. This is a perfect way to build relationships because you get to see the same families every week and you naturally bond over the excitement of watching your kids learn and grow.

The Little Gym is always my first choice for fun mommy and me classes, but hit up Google and see if you have other options close to your home. Just give the facility a call and you should be able to try a class for free.

Story Time

Most libraries offer weekly story times that include reading books as well as some type of free play time. Lots of moms attend these as an easy way to keep small kids contained and occupied outside of their home.

Choose the activities that sound most appealing to you, put them on your calendar, and show up ready to meet your next BFF!

Start Talking

Making mom friends is a lot like dating. It can be incredibly awkward, especially if you’re an introvert or struggle with social anxiety, like me. But you just have to start talking.

Once you’ve decided on an activity to try, strike up a conversation with the other moms there and show that you’re both approachable and interested in having a friendship.

If you’re feeling shy or have no idea what to say, these are always safe to start with:

• “How old is your little one?”
• “How long have you guys been coming here?”
• Give a compliment to the mom- “I’ve been looking for cute nursing tops! Where did you find that one?”
• Make a positive observation about their child- “Wow, your kid is so independent. Has he always been that brave?”

Questions are always better than passive comments because they require a reply. Some moms will respond and engage while others will choose not to (which is fine, don’t get discouraged). Either way, you never know until you try!

Keep Showing Up

Once you find a place that you like, keep showing up! It takes time to build relationships and you have to give yourself plenty of chances to overcome that initial awkwardness. The more you attend these activities, the more comfortable you’ll become.

Don’t aim to be perfect. Nobody has it all together and the other moms just want to see that you’re a real person. And after you get to know the moms within these groups or classes, you’ll discover common interests and you can decide if you want to make plans with them outside of the scheduled times.

If you can’t find an existing group that fits what you’re looking for, start a new one. If you’re looking for a specific type of mommy support system, other moms probably are, too!

The important thing is to stay optimistic and be persistent. It can take several weeks or months, but making mom friends is much easier than feeling sad and lonely every day.

How do you like making mom friends? Leave me a comment and let me know!

Before you go, make sure to see my new secret for smiling more and learn how I set the tone for a great day with my kids!

Talk to you soon!